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Fear and pain

Extremely sensitive, we learn very early in our childhood to protect from suffering.

Trying to avoid pain, we close our hearts and surround ourselves with armors. It often could be felt as a painful muscle contraction between the shoulder blades, behind the heart, like a knife.

It’s hard to relax and feel safe when we expect to be betrayed and hurt. We live in control, apparently strong and secure.

With the soul soaked in sadness, we secretly wish to be understood, cared for, and protected, but we don’t dare to openly ask what we need, afraid to be perceived as weak, or victims. We continue to live our life playing strong and helping others, disconnected to our vulnerability.

It’s difficult to show our weakness when we feel helpless like small children. When we feel down, it’s difficult to ask for help, for somebody to take care of us, to hug and pamper us. We are alone with our pain, incapable to trust anybody.

By having the courage to share our weaknesses and needs in front of our friends and children, we will show them how not to judge their own needs and weaknesses. And maybe they will feel proud and useful by showing us that they can be strong too, and able to take care of us sometimes.

It is true that when we open our hearts, we become vulnerable and easily hurt. Love and suffering belong together, two sides of the same coin.

Vulnerability means to risk exposing our weakness, and it is the most genuine act of courage. Vulnerability is to keep loving even when there are not guarantees for not being rejected, abandoned or humiliated; is to keep loving even if there are not guarantees that it will last longer than a moment.

It takes courage to live exposed, with an open heart, an intense, authentic, genuine life, full of love and passion. Sometimes smiling, and sometimes with tears in our eyes, we slowly walk with trust on the path taking us even closer to ourselves.

Posted on 11 January 2013 Email me
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