Happy parents, happy children
In addition to their parents’ love and care, our children receive sometimes also high doses of frustration, depression or confusion.
When a child is born, along with the sense of accomplishment and joy unbounded, a strong phenomenon is happening. We feel that it’s time to lay aside the epicenter of our lives, and make room to this small magic being who suddenly becomes our main reason to live.
We revolve like satellites around the needs of the little one, attracted by its irresistible magnetic field. It needs our love and dedication to stay alive, while we feel we are ready to completely sacrifice ourselves for its wellbeing.
We forget to live for us. We forget to take care of our needs and desires. Sometimes nervous, tired and stressed, clenching our teeth, we continue to do everything, trying to be perfect parents.
Raising their shinny eyes to us with a smile, our children love us just the way we are. They don’t need perfect parents. They need happy parents!
Children feel our emotions and our energy. They feel the frustration and tiredness hidden behind inauthentic smile. They absorb our sadness and despair. Like a mirror, they cry with our tears and scream out our desperation, same as smiling blissfully to us when we are happy and balanced.
They learn from us to sacrifice their desires and needs when they will grow up and have their own children. They also feel guilty for being the reason of our frustration.
It’s hard to let go of the parent instinct, but for the sake of our own children, we need to get back to ourselves.
We need to look inside and ask ourselves: Apart from the happiness of being a parent, what make us smile? What gives us energy? Do we enjoy love, friendship, beauty and passion? Are we taking care of ourselves enough?
There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Even when we try hard to protect them from suffering, our children will still have to live their own lives, with the hard times, insecurities and wonderings belonging to their path.
We will be there when they need us, loving them completely. And the most genuine act of love that we can share with our children is to be happy ourselves. For them!