We face a new relationship hoping the other will be the one who will save us. The other will provide us what we lack, will solve our problems and heal our wounds.
But after a while, our pain starts to mix with our partner’s pain, we begin to project shadows on each other, and see in him or her, like in a mirror, that part of ourselves that we can’t accept.
The relationship that was supposed to bring us fulfillment, become now the only reason for our unhappiness. All of the sudden we believe that we will be saved only when we will find the strength to escape from that relationship! The blame is on the other side.
After celebrating the success of being free again, we come to realize that we still don’t find our peace and smile. We start looking for another savior, without even wondering if we had our part of responsibility. Did we learn our lesson, or we just blame the other? In a relationship there are always two sides of the truth, two wounded children trying to get what they need.
Childhood relationship with the opposite sex parent is often reflected in the way we interact with our partner. We copy the same pattern like our parents, or desperately try to be their complete opposite.
We repeat the same experiences, and attract the same kind of people, until we understand that is time to stop this loop. Is time to observe, accept, and forgive. Is time to gently ask what we need, and open our hearts to the needs around us.
Then we hold each other’s hand with love and patience, without depending on each other, without expectations and demands, walking on the same path as partners, deeply aware of our own power and needs.
And if the path we were walking together separates at a crossroad, there will be not drama and misery, just tears of gratitude for the beautiful moments of love and joy we shared, and for the lessons we learned together.